Man, if I could write like this, well... I guess I'd be a paid writer like him. Scroll down to the part about Rick Santorum to read a hilarious comment on the hottest topic of the day. Here's the funniest part:
for heaven's sake, if they repealed a law against riding dogs while naked and slathered with Crisco, would you strip down, grease up and find a pliant Schnauzer?
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
The U.S. military is holding children younger than 16 years of age at the military prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (link). After being appalled earlier this month by the discovery of a children's prison in Iraq (link), I'm quite surprised to find out that we are detaining children. Canadian officials have tried unsuccessfully to gain access to a Canadian child who is being held in Guantanamo Bay. Lt. Col. Barry Johnson, a U.S. military spokesman, is quoted as saying "Their release is contingent on the determination that they are not a threat to the [US] nation and have no further intelligence value."
Come on, we're talking children here. I thought we were the good guys? Our own laws lay out special treatment and consideration to be given to children accused of criminal acts, yet we won't allow the Canadian government to contact a Canadian child being detained???
Come on, we're talking children here. I thought we were the good guys? Our own laws lay out special treatment and consideration to be given to children accused of criminal acts, yet we won't allow the Canadian government to contact a Canadian child being detained???
Monday, April 21, 2003
Well, apparently there are some new driving rules that have come out since I got my drivers license back when I was 16 or so. I've gathered my notes and thought I would share them with those of you who might be a little behind in the times like me.
1) if you see a sign that says your lane ends in one mile, stay in your lane. Stay there until the last possible second so you'll get to where you're going 2 minutes faster. Then, when you MUST get in the other lane, act upset when the other drivers won't let you in.
2) rip your turn signal lever off of your steering column, nobody uses it any more anyway.
3) if the electricity is out and the red light is not working, realize it's your lucky day and barrel through the intersection at 60 mph while yelling "SUCKERS!" to the cautious drivers who stopped
4) if the red light turns red when it's your turn, and you for some reason can't gun the engine and narrowly miss cars to get to the other side, just sit in the middle of the intersection making no attempt to get out of other people's way. Because it's much safer to sit in the middle of an intersection than to run that red light.
1) if you see a sign that says your lane ends in one mile, stay in your lane. Stay there until the last possible second so you'll get to where you're going 2 minutes faster. Then, when you MUST get in the other lane, act upset when the other drivers won't let you in.
2) rip your turn signal lever off of your steering column, nobody uses it any more anyway.
3) if the electricity is out and the red light is not working, realize it's your lucky day and barrel through the intersection at 60 mph while yelling "SUCKERS!" to the cautious drivers who stopped
4) if the red light turns red when it's your turn, and you for some reason can't gun the engine and narrowly miss cars to get to the other side, just sit in the middle of the intersection making no attempt to get out of other people's way. Because it's much safer to sit in the middle of an intersection than to run that red light.